Skip to main content

JOKES JUST BRUSH UP YOUR WEEK KAI! NIGERIANS ARE ALL COMEDIANS. PLEASE READ THIS:

JOKES JUST BRUSH UP YOUR WEEK
KAI! NIGERIANS ARE ALL COMEDIANS. PLEASE READ THIS:

PRESIDENT BUHARI CALLS OSINBAJO FROM LONDON.

PMB: Good morning Prof. Aw is za situation in
Nigeria?

PYO : Your Excellency, good morning. How is
London?

PMB : Walahi London I fine, to tell you za truth, I'm not
comfortable here walahi. Gaskiya my mind is in Nigeria, if not por
za Doctors, I would have come back to
Nigeria this week walahi.

PYO : Sir, you need to rest o. Nigerians are
indeed funny, the insinuation here is that you ran
away because of threats by militants to launch
missiles.

PMB : (prolonged laughter) Chai, dis Nigerians
will never stop to amaze me more walahi. I hope it's not my dat
Ekiti shege yaro dat vomit dis stufid talk fa? Prof, how do you tink a
lion can run away from antelope? (laughter). Walahi talahi dat is not possible walahi!

PYO: Your Excellency, E ma da won lohun, they
have forgotten that once a General always a
General.

PMB :  Kai,Prof, I don start again kwo? What is e ma da
won loun, you just wan force me to learn
Yoruba and you no sabi my own walahi wana me wayo ne fa!

PYO : Sorry sir, I mean don't mind the cowards.

PMB : How was za da meeting with da Service
Chiefs and za South South Governors? I hope it
went well fa.

PYO : Hmnnm, Sir, wahala dey o.

PMB : What do you mean Osivajo?

PYO : Sir, the truth don come out o.

PMB: Prof, stop talking in farables, what I
happen?

PYO : It was yesterday I know say it's not easy
to be President of this country, in fact I respected
you the more yesterday.

PMB: (smiles) Yes go ahead am listening walahi.

PYO : Sir, kokoro to nje efo inu efo ni ni ngbe.

PMB : Prof, I don start again kwo? Wana
incantation ne kwo proverb?

PYO : Your Excellency it's not incantation, it's a
proverb meaning the insect that's destroying
vegetables dey inside vegetables.

PMB : Pls tell me something sharp sharp walahi.

PYO : Hmnnm, the South South Governors said that
the Militants will not stop bombing pipelines
except you stopped the corruption charges
against all South South people.

PMB : Kai, Osivajo, are you sure I heard them well well por me?

PYO : Very well your Excellency, they speak for
English. I mean dey talk hooha for turenchi.

PMB : All za Governors from South South talk am por dis?

PYO : Sir, it was only our Gov. Adams that said
no to the request. If you were around I know they
won't have said that in your presence. They know
that I am a Professor not a general. Ta lo to
gbena woju ekun.

PMB : (Laughter). Yoo wa. When I come back walahi, I
will want dem to repeat za same thing for my ear dat Oyibo is treating walahi. How can I stop za kwarrption fight because of za militants?
Gaskiya, dat can't happen walahi. The war continues dole ne fa. We will not stop walahi talahi! Kwarraption is worse than militancy dis is za case Osivajo.

PYO : Beni ti e ri, Okunrin Ogun, I trust you, the
General himself. Pls come back quick o, the seat
is too hot for me o. You may gbona ju for me o!

PMB : (smiles) Ba kwomi walahi. l will back soon.

PYO : Alright ur Excellency, I'll be praying for you.

PMB : Alright Fastor (laughter).

What a conversation indeed! O beg read and share.
Copied...
Maimunat Usman Osihana-Yussuff

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

ONE LITTLE GIRL: an interesting story of a shoe Addict

 I find Imelda Marcos story very interesting. Thought of sharing. Enjoy ONE LITTLE GIRL  Once upon a time there was a little girl. She was a beautiful little girl, everyone agreed. She had dark hair, pale skin and almond eyes. And she sang like an angel. Everyone agreed on that too. Until she was 10 our little girl lived in the big city. It was a sprawling, bustling, filthy place. She lived in a hovel. Well, it wasn’t so much a hovel as a rundown garage. And, when the wind blew at night, the doors and shutters creaked and banged and she was very afraid. And every year when the fierce monsoon rains wreaked their vengeance on the earth the floor of the garage flooded and the little girl’s bare feet were cold and wet. One night in a fearsome storm our little girls’ mummy died – “of pneumonia”, they said, but our little girl didn’t understand. And so she and her widowed father and her five brothers and sisters left the garage in the big city and went to live on a tropical island. A

How To Spot A Fake Hermes Birkin Bag

How To Spot A Fake Hermes Birkin Bag If you don’t have over hundred bags and can’t spot a fake bag with your eyes closed, this is for you. Recent events have gotten people to wonder the difference an authentic Hermes bag and the replica. There are different accounts created for bursting fakes; Fake watch  bursta  and so on. Linda Ikeji got caught trying to pass off a birkin knock off as the real thing and started coming at people for noticing. Linda herself has spotted Nigeria celebs carrying fake Chanel Lego clutch bags back in 2013 and that created a lot of social media drama and that is the same kind of drama that was generated during her Hermes Birkin saga. READ:  “I’m Too Rich To Buy Fake…” Here are some pictures to differentiate between the real bag and a knock off and original prizes. It should be noted that the replicas can be sold for the same prize and the difference is not usually obvious.

TECNO Camon 11 Pro

SPECIFICATIONS 6.2" 720x1500 pixels 16 MP 1080p 6 GB RAM MT6762 Helio P22 3750 mAh Li-Ion NETWORK Technology GSM / HSPA / LTE LAUNCH Announced 2018, September Status Available. Released 2018, November BODY Dimensions 156.5 x 76 x 5.6 mm (6.16 x 2.99 x 0.22 in) Weight 155 g (5.47 oz) SIM Dual SIM (Nano-SIM, dual stand-by) DISPLAY Type IPS LCD capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors Size 6.2 inches, 96.7 cm 2  (~81.3% screen-to-body ratio) Resolution 720 x 1500 pixels (~268 ppi density) Protection NEG PLATFORM OS Android 8.1 (Oreo) Chipset Mediatek MT6762 Helio P22 (12 nm) CPU Octa-core 2.0 GHz Cortex-A53 GPU PowerVR GE8320 MEMORY Card slot microSD, up to 128 GB (dedicated slot) Internal 64 GB, 6 GB RAM MAIN CAMERA Dual 16 MP, f/1.8, 25mm (wide), AF 5 MP, f/2.4, depth sensor Features Quad-LED dual-tone flash, HDR, panorama Video 1080p@30fps SELFIE CAMERA Single 24 MP, f/2.0, 26mm (wide) Features LED flash, HDR Video 1080p@30fp